Day 54 - I see now

So far so good, gettin back on track. Had my paleo pancakes for breakfast, which didn't taste too bad, but I don't think I made them right. I only had one egg, and the recipe called for 3, so I had to split the recipe ingredients into 3, and for some reason it never turns out like its supposed to. I will be picking up eggs today though and hope to make them again and then we'll see. Had rotisserie chicken and zucchini for lunch, which is always a winner. Made some carrot muffins for tomorrow - I think we're gettin there. 

Work, cook, and school - I'm not gonna lie - I really didn't want to go to the gym. I  said I was going after school, but on my drive home after school I was dang near falling asleep at the wheel, and I wanted nothing more than to climb into bed and go to sleep - cuz Lord know I needed to get up at 12:30am to pick up my husband and that extra hour of sleep vs. exercising was more ideal at this point. BUT I didn't give in!! I brought my tired behind to the gym, sluggishly walked in, and got on that treadmill!! Yes I did!! I did not give into the lazy!! But I will tell you I was not at peek performance. I don't know if it was because I was tired, or the fact I've been eating crap food and not going to the gym, but I was not at my best and only ran for 15 of 40 minutes:( Although I was speed walking the rest, it was still rather disappointing. So now I see - I see the difference and need to get back to where I was.

When I was leaving the gym, I saw this guy walk up to the door outside, scan his Snap fitness badge, and walk back to his car. I can't even say anything, because that's the very exact thing I thought about doing tonight. Because if nothing else, at least continue to get the fitness health insurance discount. But it was at that moment I was even more proud of myself, because I may not have done my best tonight, but at least I did something. 

Called to get ultrasound results today and my doctor wasn't in. I got a message online from the doctor that was in, and I wasn't satisfied with the results. Read below. I am hoping my doctor will call today and shed some better light on this whole ordeal. 

Sometimes it's the only question....

But I chose to exercise today - yay me!

These crappy results...

Day 53 - Festival of Feasts

Yep - that done messed up all my Sunday plans for this dang diet. First annual Festival of Feasts at church after service. And I know I didn't have to eat it, but it looked sooooo good. Even my bestie was like "you're gonna eat that?" - to my reply "hell to the yes I am". There was so much food there and most of it tasted as wonderful as it looked. Of coarse I had to bring my eggrolls:) so I was up early frying those, and of course eating them for breakfast too - LOL. I won't feel bad about what I ate today, maybe a wee bit guilty since I vouged to change it up, but I'm human, and good food must be eaten. 

The rest of my day was so busy it left no room for exercise either. Now that I will feel bad about. But only for a second though. Sunday is supposed to be my rest day anyways - and that the story I'm sticking to. Now if I continue with no exercise the rest of the week, well then all of this was for nothing. 

We did have family movie evening, where I sat everyone around the TV to watch Fed Up". It's a documentary on the reason why Americans are the most obese country in the world, and also how sugar is the new cocaine. The food industry is pretty much doing this to us by the way they manufacture their food. This is something I already knew, but it was good to get the kids and especially my husband to see. They did also talk about the "counting of the calories". And how it pretty much doesn't make sense because the calories you consume via crap food is absorbed in the body differently than the same amount of calories in the healthy food. So pretty much my 100 calories of cupcake is gonna make me fat regardless becaus the way the body breaks it down. This sucks. 

So pretty much the whole - I exercise so I can eat what I want - craze is a bunch of crap. And that makes me sad because that's what I was going for.... Eventually. 

Kids on sugar - yes it's creepy - but sadly true.

My early morning egg roll making for church. 

Good People, Good Food, Good Time - No Regrets!! 

Day 52 - Back with a plan

So now that I'm mentally back in the game, tomorrow is Sunday, the day of new beginnings, and I'm about to get physically back. 

I started my day with a banana and some coffee. A nice healthy salad and orange or lunch. A little set back with a taco for dinner, but I'm okay with that. I will also be going grocery shopping tomorrow and  prepping some meals for the week.

I'm going to get back to running, and incorporate the P90X weight routines for strength. I will do this!!

Lunch was lovely!!

Some inspiration from Mrs Daisy. So true!!

The worksheets - I get tired lookin at them LOL

Day 51 - 8 left

I ate like crap today. Every single thing I put in my mouth was something I was not supposed to eat. And then I topped it off with ice cream. I didn't care. I wish I could be one of those people that didn't eat when they are stressed, but I'm not. When I'm stressed all I can think about is what I'm going to eat while I'm rolled up on the couch while watching bad movies.  I know I'm going to regret everything tomorrow, but I need to stress eat to get it out of my system and get with a new plan! I used to stress drink - to the point if cry it all out, then wake up the next day with a plan and move forward. So at least I stopped drinking - LOL, but I do feel like some wine is needed in my near future. 

I got the CT results back today. A 1.5mm and a 3mm kidney stone was found in my left kidney. So I get to keep my urology appointment so I can figure out how to remove the big one - sounds fun. I've had kidney stones before and it sucks!! Apparently not enough to drink water on a regular basis though, but now I'm thinking I'd rather, so today I'm downloading the drinking water app and start setting alarms as to when to drink water. Pretty sad I have to do that, but 21 days to form a habit right? So let's get with it! Gotta pass these stones, and stop them from returning!! 

Then the doctor says - "sometimes we find things we aren't necessarily looking for when we do these scans" - okay well that didn't sound very good. Then she told me she found a 1.5mm x 2.5mm soft tissue density mass in my endometrial canal. Ok well, a "mass" to me sounds like a nice doctor way of saying "tumor" - this isn't good. And now they want a pelvic ultrasound. And now commence "stress eating". I got the ultrasound done, results on Monday. I'm not going to lie though, I hope whatever it is causes me to get a hysterectomy - but not have it be a big enough reason to start chemo or anything else terribly scary. I'm done having babies, and hate getting my period!! Really tired of buying myself feminine products. But I don't think I'm strong enough to deal with anything scary or life threatening- not now. 

Again no exercise today - I just went to sleep. And tomorrow will be a new day. Not quite a new me - but a new day to restart what I was set out to do by December 31st! 8 of 10 eat whatever you want days left. 

A little visual for the size of my kidney stones.

A little peak into my dietary consumption 

I am happy with the way my clothes are currently fitting, but I know it can get better! Gettin back to the workout grind!!

Day 50 - CT scan day

The only thing I don't like about getting procedures done is the fact they starve you beforehand. I understand the point of it, but still. No eating 3 hours before and fill up the bladder with clear liquid. So my early mornings force me to eat breakfast early, and my lack of meal prep and funds left me lunch-less. So I had my banana streusel muffins around 630am and I stocked up on coffee and tea until about 11 and then I switched to water. The scan was scheduled for 4pm, and I was ready. Everything went fine, except for being stuck 3 times for the IV, and oh boy was I starving. And yes, I did what everyone didn't think I would.

It's amazing the things you do when you're hungry and broke. If I was in the woods I would definitely been the one finding the grub worms and bugs at this point, but we aren't in the woods so I did the next best thing..... used my coupon for a FREE butterburger at Culver's. I was already late for school so I might as well make it worth it. I don't know if it was that I was so hungry or if I hadn't had a burger in so long, but it went down so fast I don't even remember what it tasted like anymore. Sad. And after logging in those calories into MyFitnessPal, I'm glad I don't eat like that everyday. I wish I could say it was worth it, but I fear I will regret that one later.

There it is - the evidence. 

And there it is - the repercussion

Water, water, and more water.

Day 49 - Fun size

I see why people who eat crap food and count calories end up losing weight. The high calorie items are bite size, forcing the person to eat less and starve. And I know this from personal experience. I was in a co-workers office and the small bag of fun size Almond Joy candy bars were taunting me. I noticed these a few days ago, but didn't let it bother me - today was another story. I had just one and it was very satisfying. I entered it into MyFitnessPal and went on with my day. Well that was until I went to school. One of our teachers announced the sex of her baby with PINK valentines candy - Exciting!! - and I couldn't pass that up either. So there goes down the esophagus another fun size candy - M&M's this time. And those were also very yummy. So there it was - a meals worth of calories in just two fun size candy. I won't beat myself up too bad because I could've had a regular size from the vending machine, but still.

I'm sure all would've been fine also, if I would've run the calories off. But I didn't. I did however do some sit-ups in my head - which unfortunately doesn't count for anything. 

Went to the doctor today which they found blood in my urine, just not as condensed as I found after my run yesterday. I am going for a CT scan tomorrow, hopefully nothing to terrible. This is precisely why I need to drink more water. These problems are precisely why I and everyone else should be drinking water, water, and more water. This is the most important element. 

Still trying to figure out if it was worth it - although it was satisfying. But maybe I'm only fooling myself.

Some test results from the doctor. I really hope it's not kidney stones.

I need to remember this!

Day 48 - Web MD to the rescue

I finally got my butt to the gym. Even though I was tired, I needed to go. I went right after school, didn't stop at home, just straight to the gym. When I stop at home for any reason I tend to mentally get comfy and make every excuse not to leave. So I did my normal run, 45 minutes - 5.5 speed. Went pretty well until I got jello legs. I ended up cooling down and stopping 10 minutes early. I still got 2.8 miles in!!

Went home afterwards for shower. Went potty and got a little scare. I had peed blood. This wasn't the first time either, last week it happened after the gym once too. So this is kind of scary. Usually when  I don't exercise for a while and I start some vigorous activity, I have spotted before, but this peeing blood thing is kind scary. So WebMD here I come.

Apparently I'm not the only one, and it sounds pretty normal for runners. The obvious solution is I obviously need to drink more water. I also need to get a urinalysis just to be sure. But from what I read, I probably shouldn't per before running again, or at least within 20 minutes of running. From what I read, my empty bladder could be slapping around while I run causing the blood, and if I had at least a little pee in my bladder it would soften the slapping around and create more of a cushion. Nonetheless, calling the doctor today - wish me luck!

Well....

The running results - short of what I wanted but farther than sittin on the couch:)

#lifeofarunner